Feb. 1st, 2017

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The last three weeks at work have been an exercise in futility. I actually made it all the way through last week but that was because I don't work Fridays now and Thursday was a public holiday. So I managed three days. When I say I managed three days, I mean I stumbled home on Wednesday and immediately fell into bed. I was completely written off for the next day and a half and was still sketchy enough that I was super flat for the rest of the weekend. This week I was flat on Monday, staggered home on Tuesday literally shaking with fatigue and lasted about 45 minutes today before coming home and going to bed for seven hours. I've just gotten up and I ache all over and thinking is something which happens slowly and with effort. I'm clearly trying to function well beyond my capacity at the moment and it's a bit disastrous. There's no way I can manage to go to work tomorrow. I'd probably get there and last maybe an hour as an exercise in showing willing.

On Mondays, the first half of the day is usually fine. I start to feel nasty sometime after lunch. Tuesdays are inevitably worse, probably because I pushed on Monday. So hopefully two half days per week, ideally not consecutively, would work. I really hope I don't look back on this entry and sigh wistfully but I know it's a possibility. I think I've got to the point where this body has no redeeming features though. There is basically nothing I like about it at all.

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