That's a gorgeous poem. I know we don't know each other very well yet, but what you've written really resonated with me so I hope it's okay that I share my thoughts.
While I have a different situation, I can empathise with the sheer frustration of a body that no longer feels like it's the one you should be in. That complete disconnect of a mind full of being "you" and a body that feels foreign. In my case it was getting fibromyalgia and having what was a fit and health body replaced by one that is weak, stiff, and hurts all the time.
Despite having accepted my condition I still feel that sharp pang of "missing out" when I see those around me who are able to do all the things I can't, the things I used to be able to do and took for granted. I had a long period (years) where I wasn't able to be intimate and even though I have a loving and caring partner, not being able to be close in that way really hurt emotionally. I honestly felt like I was an "incomplete" woman because I couldn't express myself in that way. I'm eternally grateful that I was able to get past that period, but I still remember it keenly.
For what it's worth, I've been seeing a health psychologist for a few months now and I've found that's really helped me to get past some of the aspects of my physical being that I've often hated in the past and to find happiness within myself. Something that has been reinforced for me recently is that I'm attracted to people for who they as a person and things like gender, race, age, ability etc.. are irrelevant if I feel a connection. If I hold that view to other people, I can extend it to myself and love myself for being who I am, not my body.
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While I have a different situation, I can empathise with the sheer frustration of a body that no longer feels like it's the one you should be in. That complete disconnect of a mind full of being "you" and a body that feels foreign. In my case it was getting fibromyalgia and having what was a fit and health body replaced by one that is weak, stiff, and hurts all the time.
Despite having accepted my condition I still feel that sharp pang of "missing out" when I see those around me who are able to do all the things I can't, the things I used to be able to do and took for granted. I had a long period (years) where I wasn't able to be intimate and even though I have a loving and caring partner, not being able to be close in that way really hurt emotionally. I honestly felt like I was an "incomplete" woman because I couldn't express myself in that way. I'm eternally grateful that I was able to get past that period, but I still remember it keenly.
For what it's worth, I've been seeing a health psychologist for a few months now and I've found that's really helped me to get past some of the aspects of my physical being that I've often hated in the past and to find happiness within myself. Something that has been reinforced for me recently is that I'm attracted to people for who they as a person and things like gender, race, age, ability etc.. are irrelevant if I feel a connection. If I hold that view to other people, I can extend it to myself and love myself for being who I am, not my body.