I think you have the right to speak about this as both a man and as a woman. You have had the privileges of being male, of not having to think about where you go at night. As a woman, you are learning to look over your shoulder and feeling the need to be more aware of what or who is around you.
"we're not actually talking to the men who assault us, we're talking to the men who *don't* assault us and trying to get them to understand a vulnerability with which they have no real experience."
I think this is a very important point. There have been a number of times in the last 15 years that my husband has just looked blankly at me, when I've said something, whether it be not wanting to go somewhere, or ringing him and saying look for me in 10 minutes and he'll just vaguely say yeah, whenever, no rush, or he'll wonder why I locked the car doors. He is just SOOO oblivious to the risks (he grew up without even having sisters to hear it from).
Hmm, that makes me sound far more vulnerable than I usually feel.
I think there's a lot more I could say, but I've used it all up on trying to explain it to a husband who doesn't understand, but is angry that women who don't know him will veer away from him walking along a street.
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regna
(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-20 02:31 pm (UTC)"we're not actually talking to the men who assault us, we're talking to the men who *don't* assault us and trying to get them to understand a vulnerability with which they have no real experience."
I think this is a very important point. There have been a number of times in the last 15 years that my husband has just looked blankly at me, when I've said something, whether it be not wanting to go somewhere, or ringing him and saying look for me in 10 minutes and he'll just vaguely say yeah, whenever, no rush, or he'll wonder why I locked the car doors. He is just SOOO oblivious to the risks (he grew up without even having sisters to hear it from).
Hmm, that makes me sound far more vulnerable than I usually feel.
I think there's a lot more I could say, but I've used it all up on trying to explain it to a husband who doesn't understand, but is angry that women who don't know him will veer away from him walking along a street.