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Another step forward
Sep. 4th, 2012 11:09 pmI called the surgeon's office today and made an appointment for an initial consultation at the end of the month. That's all the intermediaries dealt with now and it's really just a matter of a certain amount of preparation and waiting. More scary and exciting. All that intervening time will fly past before I know it.
This is not the endgame. It's a major milestone but there's a perception that surgery is the be all and end all of transition or even that it *is* transition. I've already transitioned. My life has changed, I've repositioned and recontextualised myself socially and this is simply addressing a key point of the physical dysphoria. It will make the process of continuing to define myself a *lot* easier and resolve all sorts of cognitive, metacognitive and emotional dissonances. So it's less a goal and more of a major milestone in the journey. Beyond that there aren't all that many big events; I just get on with my life and with working out what that life entails.
For all that I know it's going to be a painful, expensive and tedious process I can't begin to explain adequately how much I'm looking forward to it though. It's not going to be a magic bullet for my life - nothing is that. It will make me feel so much more coherent though. It'll make me that much more myself. I get to appreciate how much that can mean and I wonder how many people really get to understand that at a visceral level.
This is not the endgame. It's a major milestone but there's a perception that surgery is the be all and end all of transition or even that it *is* transition. I've already transitioned. My life has changed, I've repositioned and recontextualised myself socially and this is simply addressing a key point of the physical dysphoria. It will make the process of continuing to define myself a *lot* easier and resolve all sorts of cognitive, metacognitive and emotional dissonances. So it's less a goal and more of a major milestone in the journey. Beyond that there aren't all that many big events; I just get on with my life and with working out what that life entails.
For all that I know it's going to be a painful, expensive and tedious process I can't begin to explain adequately how much I'm looking forward to it though. It's not going to be a magic bullet for my life - nothing is that. It will make me feel so much more coherent though. It'll make me that much more myself. I get to appreciate how much that can mean and I wonder how many people really get to understand that at a visceral level.
