Ethical conundrums

It seems I'm removing meat from my diet. The odd part is that it's a compulsion that I still haven't entirely worked out in my own mind as yet. I've been tumbling it aobut in my head increasingly over the past couple of weeks, trying to work out where the impetus is coming from. In some ways I think there's a lot of peer pressure involved but rather than it simply me feeling pressured into ditching meat because lots of people in the queer and derby community are vegetarian, if not vegan, it's more that I have fewer people validating the excuses I have internally for ignoring the uneasiness I have over something dying, and more importantly living really unpleasantly just so that I can eat something tasty.

So I'm being strangely vague about my motivations but the compulsion is strong and I've been getting the uneasy feeling that goes with ignoring something in the back of my mind because it means I might have to make uncomfortable and/or inconvenient choices. I've been getting better at recognising those and have learned intellectually if not deep within myself that ignoring that and deferring dealing with it just means that I'll wind up annoyed with myself later.

There's really no reason not to go ahead with this other than convenience and the part of me that wants to play with tasty tasty charcuterie (there are so many awesome things that can be done with meat that are both tasty and fascinating!). It'll improve my diet, settle my mind and probably help me take off the weight that's been creeping on since I haven't been able to exercise. So I start the moratorium on meat and animal derived products as of now (no more Guinness once the sole remaining can in the fridge has gone *sadface*). I'm not especially fussed about giving up meat. The reduction in the cheese that will be available to me is going to be hard though. There will be an adjustment period and then I'll be fine. In the meantime, I have some thinking to do.