Deux années
Nov. 22nd, 2012 11:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sacredchaoToday marks two years on hormones. A quiet day, just a dinner and chat with a friend to mark its passing. It's now rather less than five months until surgery. I know I've said that surgery isn't transition, but it will mark something of an end point as far as the big stuff goes. The rest is just tidying up and settling into myself properly.
Hopefully from this point my relationship with my body moves back into reclaiming it. I have my MRI this Sunday and once I have the results, I can move forward with what exercise I can do without damaging myself further and whatever treatment is needed to get it properly healed. I can get my fitness back, drop this excess weight and have that kinesthetic part of my life back. If I can get some proper derby training back in before I go to surgery I might even start to properly reconnect with my league. They've been lovely but being on the periphery isn't the same as skating with them. Hell, I might even see some scrimmage. I don't think getting back up to yellow star is too crazy a goal. Summer is coming along as well. Cycling commuting in the early morning in summer is a simple but profound joy on some days. Everything is warm and you can smell so much more than car exhaust. It's all cut grass and warm bitumen and garden beds and wooden fences and the city gently exhaling - there's a *smell* to summer.
I've been contemplating getting ink lately. This is again partly an exercise in reclaiming my body and of all the times in my life, this may well be the perfect time to do it. I have several ideas about what I want, very few of which relate to actual content. This is fine. There is no timetable to this, if it happens at all but I'm enjoying the process of turning it over in my mind. Perhaps that will be my post-surgery present to myself to enjoy until I can get on skates again at which point I think an upgrade is indicated. I shall try on boots and peer at plates and get myself some properly stompin' wheels.
Muscle and ink. Girl parts and skates. That's an interesting combination and I think I like the sound of it. Never mind this summer, next summer should be amazing.
Hopefully from this point my relationship with my body moves back into reclaiming it. I have my MRI this Sunday and once I have the results, I can move forward with what exercise I can do without damaging myself further and whatever treatment is needed to get it properly healed. I can get my fitness back, drop this excess weight and have that kinesthetic part of my life back. If I can get some proper derby training back in before I go to surgery I might even start to properly reconnect with my league. They've been lovely but being on the periphery isn't the same as skating with them. Hell, I might even see some scrimmage. I don't think getting back up to yellow star is too crazy a goal. Summer is coming along as well. Cycling commuting in the early morning in summer is a simple but profound joy on some days. Everything is warm and you can smell so much more than car exhaust. It's all cut grass and warm bitumen and garden beds and wooden fences and the city gently exhaling - there's a *smell* to summer.
I've been contemplating getting ink lately. This is again partly an exercise in reclaiming my body and of all the times in my life, this may well be the perfect time to do it. I have several ideas about what I want, very few of which relate to actual content. This is fine. There is no timetable to this, if it happens at all but I'm enjoying the process of turning it over in my mind. Perhaps that will be my post-surgery present to myself to enjoy until I can get on skates again at which point I think an upgrade is indicated. I shall try on boots and peer at plates and get myself some properly stompin' wheels.
Muscle and ink. Girl parts and skates. That's an interesting combination and I think I like the sound of it. Never mind this summer, next summer should be amazing.
