A Lucid Moment

I am such a whiny thing. I caught myself this evening, snarking and grumping about things which I love and ought to be excited about. Singing makes me feel misgendered. Rowany Festival will keep me away from derby. (new obsession fever) I suspect that this is to a very great extent me without nicotine again being twitchy and making minor emotional conflicts much more fraught than they are. I still adore singing and I truly *am* excited about Rowany, especially after missing the last two. The last time I gave up smoking, my hormonal makeup was rather different so I can't help but wonder if it's making a big difference. I've certainly been feeling more sensitive to perceived slights and misperceptions and any recent misgenderings have been like a hammer between the eyes.

I don't know whether I should "allow" myself the snark or give myself a bit of a mental slapping and be a bit more self-aware. There's probably a middle ground there somewhere. As long as I don't take it out on anyone else I'm probably not making too big a mess of it.