Smurf me baby, smurf me hard.

[sacredchao]

Ok, so I've internalised the idea that I'm trans and I'm actually good with that to the point that I've heartily embraced it as part of my identity. I've also been examining my sexuality and coming to grips with the idea that while I have distinct preferences with regards to gender, I am in effect bisexual. All good. I'm apparently queer as fuck but I can not merely accept that but be happy with it. Go me. But...I've come across a few articles on polyamory lately and thinking "God, that sounds so SANE." and that's the point where I jack up and think wait...what?

I have so many factors jacking about with my internal levels of desire and ideas of intimacy that I am seriously all over the place. I can't work out if this particular thing is me trying to work my shit out or actually something else I need to factor into my personal intimacy landscape. It doesn't seem to matter that I don't even have *one* partner. A conversation tonight had me thinking about this as a legitimate part of my headspace with respect to how I relate to the idea of intimacy.

So how much of a complete fringe dwelling headcase am I really? All of these particular quirks are completely reasonable but I'm starting to feel like I'm seriously marginalising myself. I mean really...wtf? Therapist session on Saturday. On top of all the other craziness in my life, I think I'm due.

Comments

Re: Cart/Horse

[sacred-chao.livejournal.com]

Oh there's a bit of both in there. This has only *just* hit me as a realisation so there's still an aspect of working out if it's real or not although early indications are "yes" as it was a rather palpable hit. Peanut butter with frosting and sprinkles I could handle, I'm starting to feel like peanut butter with black jelly beans and anchovies. Something to offend everyone.

Re: Cart/Horse

[f-m-r-l.livejournal.com]

Personally, I think we may all have something to offend everyone. It's how that's coped with (on all sides) that's the issue. Just my two cents.