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sacredchaoWell that was a really quite unpleasant day. There was not a lot in the way of external things to make it so but clearly this is one of those times when my body decides to do things in response to the hormones that I dose myself with daily which result in me being miserable. There were hints of it last night but this morning I really didn't want to get out of bed or shower or dress or anything else that goes with a usual Monday. I did it anyway and work itself wasn't a problem at all.
I suspect that the skating I did over the weekend was a step or two too far. My knee is achy although nothing beyond that but sufficiently to make me keenly aware that I still have very real limitations in that regard. Those limitations and a strangely out of control appetite mean that my weight is starting to creep upwards which I very much do not want. The control I had over my body has been dented substantially and I really do not like that.
I also came across a post on Facebook today from someone who's intersex and experiencing levels of frustration with the Tasmanian same-sex marriage bill in ways that hadn't even occurred to me. It's bad enough being told that you're not able to marry your partner because you're the same sex as them. Imagine being told that you can't marry anyone ever because your sex doesn't exist as far as marriage legislation is concerned. I don't know what the requirements are to be assigned a gender with which you don't identify to start with but I doubt that the process is easy, cheap or dignified. Moreover the implication is that if you don't submit to that then you're not a real person, you're not part of the community and you can't possibly have a real relationship. This is debasing and dehumanising. Genderqueer and intersex people are marginalised even more than trans people are. The very idea that someone might be neither male nor female seems literally unthinkable to some people. This simply isn't good enough though. We cannot say to real people with real lives and real relationships that they don't exist simply because it's inconvenient and uncomfortable for the tinier minded amongst us.
I'm really really fucking angry about this. I get little tastes of social and cultural erasure here and there that leave me feeling like there are places that I cannot go and do not fit but which are available to everyone else but that pales in comparison to this. I can't really imagine how it must feel to be that disenfranchised but I can have a good try at guessing and it's frankly a bit scary. It you don't fit into the gender binary then our culture has no mechanisms for coping with you and that means you either get ignored or demonised. At least I'm recognisably *a* gender even when my right to identify that way is questioned or ridiculed so people have a way in which to contextualise how they deal with me. I have had a few times when people haven't been able to gender me and they don't like it. It's remarkable how reliant people are on being able to gender someone even simply to talk to them. This is how our entire culture works and the idea that we can collectively pretend that part of our community doesn't exist is sickening.
So I'm angry. I'm also weirdly heartsick in a way that I can't define but which is probably in no small part hormonal. I feel like I want to simply curl up in someone's arms and rage at them about All The Things until I'm utterly exhausted and either cry or fall asleep. I really hope I feel more human tomorrow.
I suspect that the skating I did over the weekend was a step or two too far. My knee is achy although nothing beyond that but sufficiently to make me keenly aware that I still have very real limitations in that regard. Those limitations and a strangely out of control appetite mean that my weight is starting to creep upwards which I very much do not want. The control I had over my body has been dented substantially and I really do not like that.
I also came across a post on Facebook today from someone who's intersex and experiencing levels of frustration with the Tasmanian same-sex marriage bill in ways that hadn't even occurred to me. It's bad enough being told that you're not able to marry your partner because you're the same sex as them. Imagine being told that you can't marry anyone ever because your sex doesn't exist as far as marriage legislation is concerned. I don't know what the requirements are to be assigned a gender with which you don't identify to start with but I doubt that the process is easy, cheap or dignified. Moreover the implication is that if you don't submit to that then you're not a real person, you're not part of the community and you can't possibly have a real relationship. This is debasing and dehumanising. Genderqueer and intersex people are marginalised even more than trans people are. The very idea that someone might be neither male nor female seems literally unthinkable to some people. This simply isn't good enough though. We cannot say to real people with real lives and real relationships that they don't exist simply because it's inconvenient and uncomfortable for the tinier minded amongst us.
I'm really really fucking angry about this. I get little tastes of social and cultural erasure here and there that leave me feeling like there are places that I cannot go and do not fit but which are available to everyone else but that pales in comparison to this. I can't really imagine how it must feel to be that disenfranchised but I can have a good try at guessing and it's frankly a bit scary. It you don't fit into the gender binary then our culture has no mechanisms for coping with you and that means you either get ignored or demonised. At least I'm recognisably *a* gender even when my right to identify that way is questioned or ridiculed so people have a way in which to contextualise how they deal with me. I have had a few times when people haven't been able to gender me and they don't like it. It's remarkable how reliant people are on being able to gender someone even simply to talk to them. This is how our entire culture works and the idea that we can collectively pretend that part of our community doesn't exist is sickening.
So I'm angry. I'm also weirdly heartsick in a way that I can't define but which is probably in no small part hormonal. I feel like I want to simply curl up in someone's arms and rage at them about All The Things until I'm utterly exhausted and either cry or fall asleep. I really hope I feel more human tomorrow.
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(no subject)
Date: 2012-09-10 09:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-09-10 09:21 pm (UTC)But really, we could just stop asking these questions and deal with property issues as property issues and accept that adults should have the right to make decisions about what to do with their property and what to do with their bits and that these are not necessarily related.
I still like the Tassie law about registered relationships which actually recognises that there are important relationships which are not about sex. It's a pity that they had to muddy the waters with the same sex marriage issue - I still think that we could resolve these issues so much more easily if we just got rid of the privileges for straight marriage.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-09-11 06:33 pm (UTC)